The Real Cowboy Way

When I was a boy, I used to love to read Louis L'Amour westerns.  It was a simpler time for me when I had no doubt who were the good guys and who were the bad guys.  The cowboys that were the main characters in each of those novels were always tough, honest, and chivalrous.  In some small silly way, I think those books helped form my own sense of honor, and I am grateful for that.  Perhaps I am naive to be the age I am now and still often thinking in those terms, but I can tell you one thing for sure: the world would be a better place if more people thought and acted like my old cowboy heroes.

One of my favorite of those Louis L'Amour books was Hondo.  Now Hondo was a tough but fair man that came across a woman and her son that were unknowingly abandoned by the ne'er do well husband/father on their homestead right in the middle of Apache territory.  Of course, Hondo ends up teaching the boy what it really means to be a man and also inevitably falling in love with the woman. A few years later, I discovered that they had made a movie of the book staring John Wayne.  That was it for me!  It seems my heroes have always been cowboys ever since.

Cowboys these days are definitely a dying breed and there are darn few of them around anymore.  That is surely a damned shame, because I think the country would be far better off if we had more of them around. The several real cowboys I have had the great pleasure of knowing and counting as my friends are all men that love God, love their families, and love America, and in that order.  Each of them will look you in the eye and their handshake and word is their bond.  They work hard, love their women faithfully, and they love and teach their children to grow up strong, independent, and true.

All of that said, I think we can still learn a lot from the simple philosophies lived and spoken by the cowboy. Some of my favorite sayings and pieces of wisdom from this dying breed follows below.  Enjoy!

Find her, protect her, spoil her, dance with her and never stop loving her or someone else will.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks, lawyers, and politicians at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plough.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You can't unsay a cruel thing.

Every path has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Don't judge people by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Some days ya just gotta put on your boots and dance anyway.

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

A young cowboy once asked his father, “Father, how will I ever find the right woman?”  His father replied, “Forget finding the right woman; focus on being the right man.”

What this country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.  ~ Will Rogers

Never take to sawin’ on the branch that’s supportin’ you, unless you’re bein’ hung from it.

Just because you’re following a well-marked trail don’t mean whoever made it knew where they were going.

Hard work spotlights the character of people:  some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.

Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway.

Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.

Every cowgirl knows if you’re wantin’ to find yourself a good stallion, don’t go looking in the donkey corral.

You can’t fix stupid.

Life will change without our permission.  It’s our attitude that will determine the ride.

If you want to know what a man’s character is like, take a good look at how he treats those which are not his equals.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

The Cowboy Rules of the West

The cowboy rules for Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho and the rest of the west where rugged individuals still live are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Boston call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang sight more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! (Refer back to #1!)

17. We don't care how you "did things back in California".  If you like the way things were done back there, then move back. 

18. We stand when the national anthem is played, face old glory, remove our hats, and cover our hearts as a sign of respect for this greatest nation on earth.  If that offends you, we suggest you move to another country.  Perhaps California or New York, as they also don't seem to like this country.

19.  We call our elders "ma'am" or "sir" also out of respect.  You got that, dude and dudettes?

20. We honor and support our police, fireman, and particularly our military.  Anyone that puts their butt on the line to protect or save you is worthy of that honor.

21.  Them there crosses you occasionally see on the side of the road, those are memorials set up out of respect for our friends and neighbors that might have wrecked and died there.  If this cross offends you, too bad.  And good luck taking your complaint to the ACLU... they ain't welcome in our states either.

If you can live by these rules, welcome and howdy!

The Cowboy's Dream

I always had an affinity for cowboys.  The spirit of the old west as personified by these rugged, self reliant, and hard working individuals is one of the things that I have admired since my boyhood.

That being the case, I ran across this classic piece of old cowboy poetry in a collection of such that was compiled by Howard "Jack" Thorp in Songs of the Cowboys.  Mr. Thorp claims that this particular poem was given to him by Wait Roberts, Double Diamond Ranch, White Mountains in 1898.  The authorship of the poem was ascribed to the father of Captain Roberts, of the Texas Rangers.


The Cowboy's Dream

Last night, as I lay on the prairie,
And looked at the stars in the sky,
I wondered if ever a cowboy
Would drift to that sweet by and by.

I hear there's to be a grand round-up
Where cowboys with others must stand,
To be cut out by the riders of judgment
Who are posted and know all the brands.

The trail to that great mystic region
Is narrow and dim, so they say;
While the one that leads down to perdition
Is posted and blazed all the way.

Whose fault is it, then, that so many
Go astray, on this wild range fail,
Who might have been rich and had plenty
Had they known of the dim, narrow trail?

I wonder if at the last day some cowboy
Unbranded and unclaimed should stand,
Would he be mavericked by those riders of judgment
Who are posted and know all the brands?

I wonder if ever a cowboy
Stood ready for that Judgment Day,
And could say to the Boss of the Riders,
"I'm ready, come, drive me away"?

For they, like the cows that are locoed,
Stampede at the sight of a hand,
Are dragged with a rope to the round-up,
Or get marked with some crooked man's brand.

And I'm scared that I'll be a stray yearling,
A maverick, unbranded on high,
And get cut in the bunch with the "rusties"
When the Boss of the Riders goes by.

For they tell of another big owner
Who's ne'er overstocked, so they say,
But who always makes room for the sinner
Who drifts from the straight, narrow way.

They say he will never forget you,
That he knows every action and look;
So for safety you'd better get branded,
Have your name in the great Tally Book.

My wish for all cowboys is this:
That we may meet at that grand final sale;
Be cut out by the riders of judgment
And shoved up the dim, narrow trail.

The Cowboy's Prayer

Jake, the rancher, went one day
To fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty
And the clouds rolled gray and dense.

As he pounded the last staples in
And gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen,
The wind and snow began to blow.

When he finally reached his pickup,
He felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition
He knew it wouldn't start.

So Jake did what most of us
Would do if we had been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
And sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time,
He softly cursed his luck
They found him three days later,
Frozen stiff in that old truck.

Now Jake had been around in life
And done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked --
It looked just like Wyoming !

Of all the saints in Heaven,
His favorite was St. Peter .

So they sat and talked a minute or two,
Or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score --
In Heaven, time is free.

'I've always heard,' Jake said to Pete ,
'that God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help,
Well, he just plain wasn't there.'

'Does God answer prayers of some,
And ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square --
I know all men are brothers.'

'Or does he randomly reply,
Without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
The weather or the season.'

'Now I ain't trying to act smart,
It's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me --
What the heck's the deal?!'

Peter listened very patiently
And when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
And he said, 'So, you're the one!!'


That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
And you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
With hundreds of us trying.'

'A thousand angels rushed,
To check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake , we hadn't heard
From you in quite a long while.'

'And though all prayers are answered,
And God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
And started a truck in Minnesota '

unknown author

BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH! :)

The Cowboy Way

I always did like cowboys. Now, I don't mean the ones that dress up in their well-pressed Wranglers, put on a Stetson hat, jump in their pickup that has never ever left a concrete road, to go to the local honkey tonk to line dance in some downtown metropolis. I mean, I like real honest to goodness cowboys.

I admire and respect those men and women that have worked hard ranching. It would seem that there is something about having to be responsible for a herd of livestock's' well being and everything that it takes to do that that typically creates a man or woman of uncommonly good sense.

To this day, I cannot think of a single real cowboy or cowgirl that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting that has not exhibited this uncommonly good sense. A cowboy's sense of right and wrong, fair play, and justice is almost infallible. They are straight shooters and tell it like it is. They tend to see the world in more of the black and white shades that it often times truly is, rather than the myriad shades of gray that nearly all our politicians couch their positions in of moral relativism nowadays.

President Reagan was often called a cowboy by his critics. He returned to his ranch in California as often as he could when he was president. Perhaps that is why I liked and respected the man so much. I suspect it will take another cowboy sitting in the oval office to clean up the mess that the current goat-roper will leave us.

With this being said, an old Navy buddy who lives in Texas forwarded this short video to me. It kind of gives you an idea of why I like cowboys. Too bad the breed seems to be a lot harder to come by these days when we really could use a lot more to keep us all grounded in common sense.