Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Democrat 2012 Convention Schedule

With the Republican  convention taking place in Tampa, Florida this week, and in the spirit of bi-partisanship, I wanted to provide the schedule for the upcoming Democrat  convention in Charlotte, North Carolina on Tuesday September 4th. 
Democratic Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial I hate America led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – Rev Jessie Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:15 PM -- Ceremonial Abortion Performed by Planned Parenthood
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring  a 23-Minute Question and
2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

3 comments:

jim marquis said...

Pretty funny. Somebody sent me a version for the GOP convention.

The Heathen Republican said...

You're not going to credit Keith Koffler? Or did he steal it from you?

T. Paine said...

Jim, I would be amused to read the GOP version.

HR, this "schedule" was emailed to me by a friend. Their was no attribution attached to it. If Keith Koffler is the original source of this material, then all credit goes to him. He is a very funny guy accordingly!