A Tribute to My Dad

Today is Father’s Day.  For some reason I woke up today in a contemplative mood with just a slight touch of the melancholy.  You see, my father turned 83 twelve days ago, or at least he would have if he were he still alive.  As it is, he passed away when I was twelve due to a long and very arduous battle with cancer.  He was a young fifty years old when he died, despite the age that the horrible disease had visited upon his body in the waning years of his short life.

I occasionally stop and wonder what my life would have been like; indeed, what kind of man would I have become had my father lived and been there to guide me as I entered those teenage years and onward to today. 

My father had been married before meeting and marrying my mother.  He had a beautiful daughter, my half-sister, with his first wife.  Due to silly and needless family issues, I had not seen my wonderful sister since Dad’s funeral in 1978, that is until a few years ago when I decided to find her and have her be a part of my life once again.  While she has filled so many holes missing in my heart and soul, she has also recounted stories of which I was not aware about my Dad from when she was growing up.  My sister is obviously a few years older than I am and was grown and married when Dad passed.  

I had grown up thinking that Dad was a strong and honorable man.  It seems that he was not always of such sterling character when my sister was growing up with her Mom and our Dad.  I found this exceptionally hard to take initially, and was sorry and heartbroken for my sister and her less-than-ideal childhood, especially when compared to mine.  I wondered how could this man whom I loved and revered, who always had such a strong sense of right and wrong and demanded that my brother and I grow and act accordingly as young boys, could have lived such a very different life such as my sister described in her life.

It occurred to me that Dad had changed, for reasons I may never really know, into the father he became for me.  I do not know what moment or epiphany came to him, or if it was a gradual process over the course of years, but Dad was indeed the best father I could ever hope for as a boy.  He was strict, but also kind and loving.  He had tough standards and expected much out of everyone.  He was absolutely a man’s man, as was common for men of his generation.  He instilled in me a sense of honor and indeed was the one who insisted we go to church and learn of God, our heavenly Father, and what He would have us be.

Over the past years, I sorely wished that Dad was there so we could go on fishing trips, like he often took with my uncles and granddad.  I wish he could have taught me to golf.  (Dad was a scratch golfer and had two holes-in-one in his life; I assure you the talent is NOT hereditary.)  I wish I could have talked to Dad when I had questions about women, and my first girlfriend.  I wish Dad was around to be that strong hand that was needed as my little brother began to stray.  I wish he could have been there when I got married and when we had our baby girl.  I wish so many things, but then again, I look back and I am so grateful to God for the time I did have with my father.

You see, in spite of the man he may once have been, in my life he was exactly the man I needed him to be.  He was that role model that every boy absolutely needs.   He laid the foundation for my own sense of right and wrong, of fairness, of hard work.  He showed me how a real man should act and love.  He loved me, and I miss him so.

The Passing of My Uncle Bill

My Uncle Bill passed away last Sunday after suffering a fall and breaking his hip that previous Thursday.  His funeral was yesterday and to my greatest regret I was unable to attend it and honor him.  I shall make amends for this, along with my wife and youngest daughter this next week as we travel back to our old home in Oregon to pay our final respects to Uncle Bill.

My Uncle was an amazing man in so many ways.  To those that didn't know him well, he often came across as a gruff no-nonsense kind of guy, and indeed to a certain extent he was definitely that!  But Uncle Bill was also a man with a very big heart and a great sense of humor, albeit a very dry one.

His eyes would always light up when he saw our little daughter Brittany.  He called her his baby goat, because she was just a "kid".  Of course, Brittany thus called him Grandpa Goat in return.  He adored his "kid" and she dearly loved him back, regardless of the fact that she could always expect him to tease her mercilessly whenever they were together.

I always knew him as a man that spoke his mind clearly, concisely, and without equivocation.  He had no problem telling you or anyone what was wrong from right.  He was a very very good and decent man accordingly and insisted on doing the right thing always.  There was refreshingly little gray area in his world where everything becomes relative and something wrong is thus justified accordingly.

He was an uncompromising man determined to do the right thing and he was the very personification of the poster boy for the greatest generation.  His patriotism and service to our country began in World War II where he once told me the story of how he was one of the first American soldiers to enter a German concentration camp.  He rose to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and never lost that military bearing after his retiring from the Army Reserves and then going on to work for the power company for the next forty years. 

He will be missed dearly and loved always.  The world is a little sadder place today because of his leaving but a far better place today because of the life he lived and the lives he touched!  I love you Uncle Bill!

My Uncle's obituary from the local Medford, Oregon paper is posted below:

William C. "Bill" Tycer, 91, died peacefully Sunday, October 10, 2010, at Rogue Valley Medical Center in Medford, Ore. Bill was born in Grants Pass, Ore., the son of Herb and Ruth Tycer. He was a longtime resident of Medford.

After graduating from Medford High School in 1937, he joined the U.S. Army in 1943, where he served in World War II. After completing active duty, he later served as a Lt. Colonel in the Army Reserves.

After serving with the Army, Bill had the opportunity to join Copco, then Pacific Power and Light, where he worked as the warehouse manager until he retired after four decades of service.

Bill had a passion for public service and government and served as a Medford City Councilman. An avid golfer, he was a longtime member of Rogue Valley Country Club, and for much of his life enjoyed his weekly Saturday foursome. Bill also enjoyed hunting, fishing and yard work. His honesty, dry sense of humor, and "creative" renaming of people will be fondly remembered by those who loved him.

Bill is survived by his wife of 19 years, Julie; his two sisters, Norma Frost and Faye Dalton; daughters, Debby Endicott and Trudy Boteilho; his son, Bill Noel; stepsons, Mike Tycer and Jim Tycer; four grandchildren, Heather Endicott, Brady Boteilho, Erica Gottula, and Brittany Tycer; and his dog, Ruby. He was preceded in death by two brothers.

A memorial service celebrating Bill's life will be held Thursday, October 14, 2010, at 1:00 p.m., at the Eagle Point National Cemetery Committal Shelter. Memorial contributions may be made to the Humane Society of Southern Oregon.

Beautiful Women

It was brought to my attention that I am indeed a lucky man to have so many beautiful women in my life. (Being a typical man, I am often very dense and sometimes subtle hints tend to go unnoticed accordingly.) This, however, is something which I have definitely always known and recognized, even if I have not always been smart enough to verbalize this enthusiastically and often to these terrific women! Being an insensitive man can make life difficult, as all of you men out there with wives, girl friends (hopefully not on of each of the preceding!), daughters, sisters, mothers, and mother-in-laws will know!

I laugh when I hear how it is a man's world out there. Any man that has been married more than a week and actually gives a dang about his beloved, flat out knows that this is not true. As my youngest daughter continuously likes to quote from the horrific chick-flick, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "The husband is the head of the house-hold, but the wife is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants." (To which I respond that this is where the term "pain in the neck" originated.) I was always annoyed with that movie's supposedly humorous line, probably because it had a ring of truth to it. Needless to say, I love all of my girls and I am hopelessly and happily there to do their bidding.

For a guy that grew up with only one woman in the house-hold (Mom), I was thoroughly unprepared for how my heart would be captured and gently persuaded by all of the women that would eventually become the very best part of my life.

For starters, my dearest wife is my best friend and indeed my soul mate. She is exceptionally smart and has always had a very loving spirit. Her caring and compassion towards others, even to her own detriment at times, is unparalleled in my experiences. She is truly an incredible woman in every possible facet of her being and I am incredibly blessed that she chose to be with me. I often point out that her only real flaw was her taste in men.

With my beloved, we have three beautiful daughters. Each of them are loving, caring, strong, independent women that are incredibly beautiful in spirit, as well as in appearance. They each are unique in style and talents, but are all similar in that they each have been very precious to me and made my life so much better for having raised them. Often I learned so much more from them than I ever taught them, particularly when it comes to love.

My Mom and my mother-in-law are likewise beautiful. Mom has always been exceptionally hard-working and loyal to those she loves. Further, I am blessed to be evidently the exception to the rule as I dearly love my mother-in-law too. She is terrific in ALL ways and has always been nothing but gracious and loving towards me. Same can be said for my sister-in-law.

Lastly, but certainly not the least, is my newly re-found sister. My sister (from my dad's first marriage prior to meeting my mom) and I had lost touch with each other for over 30 years due to really foolish circumstances that neither one of us created. The fantastic thing is that I have found her again and we have become very close. She is a wonderful and loving person, just like all of the other women in my life. (And she is the only one of all of my girls that actually shares my love and passion for NASCAR driver Mark Martin and our semi-mighty Portland Trailblazers!) We seem to be commiserating a lot about that lately.

Anyway, it is ironic to think about how a boy growing up with very little female influence in his life can have his life so enriched by a group of loving, beautiful women. I am indeed blessed by God to have each and every one of them to be such a wonderful part of my life. I love all of you girls very much!

PS: The picture is that of my three daughters and wife that was taken at my middle daughter's wedding nearly six years ago.